We are trapped on an island sized space vessel, manned only by 4 mutant cloning accidents employed by a well known (lack of) security firm!
We are hurtling at enormous speed towards a black hole of Spanish banking proportions and almost certain oblivion!!!
Our auto pilot was set, not by a navigator with experience of our galaxy, but instead by an amateur economist who found a redundant (a word we will all become familiar with) sat nav, hastily left by previous incumbents. It had originally been set for a steady course towards a more progressive tax system, however it had been programmed with too many comfort stops for debt enlargement.
The new settings however, were set for the Democratic Republic of Utopia, which everyone knows is a non existent test setting!!! It only goes to show the total lack of knowledge, of anything, that the operator has.
Why are we on this doomed trip, well it wasn't of our choice, the travel operators merged and we all found ourselves here, trapped of our own unwitting and uncomplaining volition. No one feels that this is going to end well the intergalactic AA service has been cruelly reduced and call out times are now in decades!!! We would complain now, but there is only a box for written complaints, not much use in deep space!
What about the politicians and the bankers? Oh well, as it turns out, they are on a Branson luxury liner all headed to a tax haven in the Virgin Nebular, brilliant, they didn't think to tell us!!!
Short story based on a more pragmatic blog in the Guardian: